Happy Freakin' Birthday

It's been a strange week or, rather, it's been a strange few days. Two major things happened. One of which was a first for me and the other was a throwback to junior high school, but not in a good way. Though, now that I think about it there are not a lot of good things about Jr. High in general.

Never seen the movie but the sentiment seems apt.

The first strange thing to happen occurred on Friday and requires just a little backstory to fully appreciate. One of my coworkers abruptly left after the Christmas holiday. He didn't give two weeks notice and put us all in a bit of pickle as he was in charge of preparing materials for us to teach once the break was over. So, come school starting up again we need to rush to make sure we have everything we need. On top of that his wife is battling cancer, has been for that last year, so he has been very inconsistent with his work already. No one really blamed him for this (how can you?) but over the year he used up a lot of our goodwill already by not showing up to work or rushing things and my boss had already been pretty damn accommodating of his needs. So, my boss is understandably upset over how this guy ended his job with us and feels a little betrayed at not being given the same respect.

The man who quit is an older guy, sixties I think, with greasy, almost never combed grey hair, thick arms, short legs and a big barrel chest, was probably on the hippie side of the '60's. Nice guy. Good with kids. I'm sorry things didn't work out with him.

He had an interesting career life story, too. It seemed like anytime I brought something up with him he had done it at some point in his life. In the Navy? Yup. Worked at a Post Office? Yup. Co-owned a brewery? Yup. Built homes? Yup. Lived in like every country in North and South America? Yup. Grew and sold a lot of pot? Yup. In fact, he even gave me some weed infused beer once. It sure tasted like weed infused beer, too. Sadly, it just made me sleepy. Though, everything seems to just make me sleepy lately.

Now, it's Friday. I'm working at our office/warehouse doing the stuff he usually did. We have a mini-emergency. Someone else calls in sick and we have no one to fill his class, except for the co-owner of the business who only handles the scheduling/payroll/booking side of the business. She does not like to be in the spotlight and does not like to be in charge of a class full of young kids. She reluctantly agrees to sub because we have no other options and I start prepping her and giving her a crash course in the lesson she has to teach.

Just as we finish, a short older lady dressed in a black skirt and jacket with thick pantyhose on her legs walks in carrying one of our big bulky lesson kits. She has an obvious long black wig on and super red lipstick on. We both turn to greet and time slows waaay down for all of us just as things get waaay awkward.

The person I'm training is very quiet. I'm surprised this woman has one of our kits and feel something is out of place but can't pin it down until I look at this older lady's eyes to greet her. They are the same as the guy who just quit.

Jeffery Tambor looks a lot like my former co-worker

Without thinking I say "Hey _____" in a happy voice, just like how I usually greet him. Then the revelation floods over me and I immediately regret saying his name. This isn't the guy I knew. This is the woman he's become. I doubt this woman is using the same name. As shocked and unprepared as I am, I know enough about trans-issues that we have to be reintroduced and I should find a tactful way to get this woman's new name without making things worse.

Before I can do that or even really begin to plot out a course of action on how to do that, my boss comes in and confronts her. My boss is a kind hearted guy, but also very pragmatic and very into efficiently growing and running the business. He is also, as stated earlier, pretty pissed at my former coworker.

After a few strange and otherworldly beats, the former coworker speaks first. I don't recall exactly what she said but it was something to the effect of "The man you knew no longer exists." I want to hear more. I want to hear her new name.

My boss does not. He says back, "That has no bearing on this." and then starts berating her about giving two weeks notice and how he feels like he was taken advantage of. It is always awkward being in earshot of someone getting browbeaten for something at work, Even if you know it's deserved. Now stack on top of that someone dropping your jaw and saying they are an entirely new person of the opposite gender and it becomes awkwardmageddon.

My former coworker says very little to my boss. She just apologizes, leaves the kit she is carrying on the table, and leaves. The three of us left are just stunned. I wish my boss had been more open and less geared toward getting his anger and annoyance off his chest. Not saying it wasn't deserved, but given the scenario I'd have like to heard my former coworker out more.

We laugh a nervous, awkward energy releasing chuckle because there doesn't seem to be anything else to do. We talk about it a little. Not one of us is judging or unsympathetic to what just happened. Not one of us has any ill will or malice towards trans people. We are all just truly shocked and genuinely surprised as you rarely are in life.

I'm still wrapping my brain around it and wish it had gone smoother than it did.

Alright, this took longer than I thought. So, I'll save the next thing for my next post. Here's a teaser: it involves me calling some guy's wife a dick.